My Dear Friend

My dear friend,

This afternoon, we were together on the front lawn. You were lying, enjoying the sun and soft cool grass, being a cute dog.I was enjoying a warm coffee and I found great delight in sharing this peaceful moment with you.I found you so beautiful that I had to take a picture. Those moments are precious.Over the years we shared, you have been the source of so much joy, so much love and affection. Your eyes, they always convey so much emotions.

Gradually, through the years, we noticed your fur turned white and you started limping. Those little problems never prevented you from enjoying life with us. I occasionally talked with Liam about your age and what that meant but we always thought that we would get the privilege to enjoy a few more years with you.

Tonight, I have a deep sadness in my heart and i need to share it with my friends. Tears come down my cheeks as the words try to come out. I need to say this even though it hurts. We noticed a lump on your chest this spring, it was soft and mobile. The veterinarian and I thought that it was a benign tumor, a lipoma. We agreed that we would just watch it. It did grow but not to the point of worry. Tonight, I noticed your lump was much larger and it had developed 4 friends in it’s vicinity. A lump that grows and spreads is never good news. I told Liam i would check with the vet this week but I kind of know the answer… It’s probably cancer. While Liam was asleep, i examined you and found some other lumps… My old friend, my little sunshine, I am sad because I know you are dying… and I will lose you, too soon.

When I got a dog, I knew that life and love are gifts that come and go. I knew that I should enjoy every minute of this precious bond. The time to say goodbye is seen on the horizon. A sadness invades my heart. Tears flow and I let them. I deeply love you Ani. I will be with you until the end. I will make sure you are happy and comfortable. Eventually, I will let you go and I will be grateful for all the joy and all the love that you brought into our lives. Thank you for taking in my sadness and accepting my tears. When sadness is shared, it is divided and lessened. I already feel calmness coming back. Tonight, I will cuddle with you until my tears fade. There is still time to enjoy our lives together.

Thank you.

(…)

The next morning… When we give emotions the space to be felt and shared, they generally do not wallow in our minds. Sadness came and went. It left more space for love and gratitude. The sun is shinning today and Ani’s tail is still wiggling, telling me that she is still filled with joy and life. I hope I can walk this path with my son and hold his hand in mine and his soul in my heart while he learns and understands this sad news.