I’m a privileged witness in the last moments of many people.
Medicine is sometimes great at relieving suffering but it can also be great at causing unnecessary ones.
There is a time to fight but there is also a time to let go.
Almost every day, i talk about death with patients. Often i offer them a choice: to fight until the end and undergo painful procedures or to just let go and work on being comfortable until the last moment. We doctors can be cruel. We can poke you with needles, drain unwanted fluids, biopsy your organs, burn you with chemotherapy, hurt you with radiation, sometimes to help you live longer but also, sometimes futily because we have a difficulty accepting the inevitable, every life has an end.
We doctors always want to do good but, sometimes, too much is worse than too little.
Today, i helped 2 people choose their path. They welcomed my offer to help them let go as if it was an hidden option in their relations with past doctors. I wrote a DNR order for them. I met their family. I shared their anxieties. I tried to relieve their pain. I accepted their suffering because being there, offering support and presence is sometimes all that we can do… but, always, it is helpful. These moments are always filled with emotions.
Today, i saw so much love flow between a husband and wife when they shared this moment, this first step in the last part of their long adventure together, when they faced together the inevitability of her eventual departure.
When treatment is not a valid option, we must not run, we must be there.
Don’t be afraid, trust me, life is beautiful even in the end of life moments.
Originally posted on Facebook June 2013
Martin Pham Dinh 