I have always been a risk taker. I’ve always enjoyed adrenaline sports. In the last year, i’ve been taking more and more risk. I love life and i believed that risk is the spice of life. I don’t do crazy things but still, i like to go fast, jump, etc…
This morning, i had an accident. I went into the ski park. I took a jump. You know, the kind of big air jump with a landing. I was confident i could do it. I’ve done this countless time. I just went for it without fear… i went too fast and i overshot the jump. I started turning in the air and rotating backward. I had the time to think “Ooohhh shiiit!” Then bang! Impact.
No loss of consciousness. I am on my belly and i think again “Holy shit!” Don’t move. Let the adrenaline rush pass. Breath in and out. I see a guy over me. He ask if i’m ok. He saw the fall. He offers to call the ski patrol. Mentally, I scan my body. No pain. Relax. Breath in and out. Try to move the back, hope for the best. I’m stiff but no pain. Next step, my pelvis. Let’s hope i can stand up. If i can’t, then i’m in trouble. I stand up like an old man. My back and my hips and pelvis are stiff as hell but i can walk. I look back and see the jump. I review what happened: 20 km/h, jump 5-6′ high, miss the landing (another 5-6′) so fell about 10-12′ directly on my lower back on hard pack snow… Ouch!
So i ski down and go directly to our condo.
I ask one of my friends to stay with me, afraid that, when the adrenaline rush goes away, some new symptom will emerge. In our room, i rush to take 2 Aleve and 2 Tylenol. While i can still move, i assess the situation. I palpate and move every bone in my back, pelvis, hips. Everything is sore but not painful. I don’t mind discomfort, i’m looking for pain, a sign that something is not right. I find only discomfort. I try to stretch my back and hips. Just discomfort. I figure i’ll be ok. But i know that this was a bad fall and i should expect the soreness to increase…
Another hour later, my friends come to the room to check on me. We have lunch together. I try to sleep. I’m a bit anxious, will i get out of bed once muscle spasm settle in? I get an hour sleep. I just got out of bed but now, i walk like a 80 yo who misses his walker… Discomfort is all over my back, sacroiliac joint and pelvis. If i had a walker, i’d use it.
So, how do i feel? Grateful. I’m lucky that i did not break anything. I can still walk. Thanks to my body’s conditioning from over 20 years of training, i’m very resistant to injury. This is a serious wake up call. Things could’ve turned out differently: broken back – pelvis, transfer to hospital, medical transfert to canada, months of recovery, etc.. Just for a ski jump… I will reassess my risk taking attitude. Life is short but let’s not make it shorter just for the sake of an adrenaline rush.
From the way my body feels, I don’t think i’ll ski again this week. I’ll take the time tor rest and heal. And i will do what i always do, turn this unfortunate adventure into a learning experience that will leave me stronger and more mature in many ways.
I’ll keep you updated…
Do send me positive energy, i’ll cherish every ounce of everything i receive.
(…)
The jump that tried to break my back but did not succeed…
The road to recovery – Day 1
This morning i woke up and i was able to get out of bed. Not without difficulty but i managed. My condition is not worse from yesterday’s. I expected it to be with muscle spasm and inflammation.
Instead of being discouraged by my predicament, i am happy to be able to walk. This is my perspective, always look at the bright side of life. By falling 12′ on my back, i could’ve been in the hospital today in a back brace.
So i woke up and headed to the hotel gym. I don’t want to train, i need to move. In the last 5 years, i have developed my own theory of how to heal injury: movement heals the body. I’ve applied successfully to many friends and some of my minor injury. Today, i start testing my theory on myself for a more significant injury.
Right now, stairs are my biggest challenge. When i lift my leg, i feel discomfort in my sacroiliac joint. So i walk up the hotel’s stairs like an old man. Surprise, the gym is on the 5th floor and the elevator is closed. So i tell my friends to go ahead and today’s training will be walking up the stairs. I’m really starting over from scratch. I manage 2 floors amd take a break. Interestingly, the last 2 floors are easier. I smile. First small victory.
The road ahead is long but i’ll never quit until i am back to 100%. I’ll write often about this. Everyone has his own challenge, i want to share with my friends how a simple state of mind, discipline and patience can help us recovery from anything.
In 2015, my psychological resilience was tested. In 2016, it will be all about my physical recovery. Looking at the mechanism of my trauma and the amount of discomfort i have just walking, i give myself 6 months to recover fully.
Thank you friends for your support.
(…)
The road to recovery day 3
How wisdom is earned…
Wisdom in life is sometimes earned through painful experiences. This is unfortunately my story. Yesterday morning, two small victories and one surprise. I got out of bed in less than 5 minutes and i was able to go up the stairs without pain. But, i found a surprise in my groin: a large inguino-scrotal ecchymosis. Woohhaa, i fell on my back and i earn a blue scrotum… This was quite an impact that probably caused minor internal bleed. I feel fine just sore. I walk like a penguin and have a mild inguinal discomfort. Maybe it’s a pubic rami fracture but this condition can wait our arrival to Canada for a x-ray.
At the airport, i meet another victim of the mountain. He is in a wheelchair. He broke his femur by going skiing outbound without a guide and fell off a 75′ cliff with his buddies. I feel lucky comparing my condition to his. He feels the same comparing his to his buddy’s, a young physician who broke his femur and earned multiple spinal fractures and a broken jaw.
The wisdom i earned today: fear is good, listen to it. Know your limits and respect them. Skiing is just for fun, i got nothing more to prove. Play safe.
I’ll smile all day today, i appreciate the simple act of being able to walk.
(…)
The road to recovery – Day 14
Fourteen days ago I found myself at the highest point of a jump i should never have taken. In an instant, i knew i was in trouble. I went too fast with the wrong angle. I was too confident. I was cocky. My body started slowly rotating in the air so that, at the top, about 12 feet high, my skis where facing the sky and i felt myself falling… Time slowed. I had time to think: Holy shit, this could be a life shattering accident. I still see it. This moment is ingrained in my memory like a flashback from a traumatic event. I can relive it and i did, involuntarily, in the three days after the fall. I don’t know how i survived this event without breaking a single bone but i did.
The next morning, i could barely walk. I had trouble getting out of bed. Going up stairs caused pain in my sacroilliac joint. But i did get up. I could not ski but i was happy to be intact and walking. That was good enough for me. So i challenged myself to recover from this… completely. I knew this would test my physical resilience and if i succeeded, it would just make me stronger… and wiser.
Initially, i gave myself 6 months to recover. That is a testament to how bad i felt.
Since then, i went to the gym every day, not to train, but to move, to stretch, to let my body do what it does best: actively recover by moving. I told it before, I’ll tell it again and again: I strongly believe that movement heals the body. Work through the discomforts and keep moving. Listen to the pain but work through discomfort.
Today, only 14 days later, i’m happy to reassure all of you, i’m feeling awesome! I’m off advil and tylenol. I just hand shoveled all the snow on my driveway. It took me an hour and a half and it was not done without any discomfort but i did it. I have recovered 80% of my mobility and about 50% of my strength. I’m impressed by my own progress.
So my advice to all of you with injuries, chronic pain, tendonitis, sprains and the ills that come with age: just keep moving, never stop moving.
Thank you.
(…)
Road to recovery – Day 25
I can run! Well, i can jog and honestly, i look like a 90 yo demented male with a diaper who is running away from the hospice and forgot his walker.
I don’t care how i look, i can run!
3 weeks ago, walking was a challenge. I was limping.
I’m recovering much faster than i thought.
It has nothing to do with luck.
It’s a mix of things.
1- Mindset: I don’t accept the idea that i will not recover from this.
2- Discipline: I spend an hour every day on my recovery: Stretch, move, massage, ultrasound.
3- Good people: Susi-Paula Gaudencio the best physio i know.
(…)
The road to recovery – Day 105 – Back to normal !
It’s been a bit over 3 months. Stupid accident, big air jump and fall on my back after dropping from about 12 feet in the air. No bones were broken, a true blessing, but my pelvis felt like it was shattered. I could barely walk. I had a thigh and groin ecchymosis that would scare even my friend doctors.
As of today, one hundred days later, i can finally say that i’m back to normal.
Mobility is 100%. Flexibility is 100%. Strength is 90% but rapidly progressing.
I can run. I can jump. I can ski. I can bike. I did some light BJJ with friends in my gym recently.
This recovery is a testament to hard work and discipline. I spent on average an hour every day for the last 15 weeks: i did every thing i could to get better: physiotherapy, massage, stretching, ultrasound, mobility work. From day 1, I never stopped moving because i strongly believe that movement heals. Use it or lose it. I also believe that we must work through physical discomforts. Always respect pain but, I’ll repeat it, push and work through discomforts.
I also believe that mindset is important for recovery: i never accepted the idea that i would be stuck any type of physical limitation or chronic pain.
I must send a big thank you to all of those who helped me recover. I’m very grateful for your help.
Martin Pham Dinh 