Through my work as a medical examiner, every day i talk with people who are angry, frustrated, anxious, fearful, sad, resentful, disillusioned, dismayed and regretful.
Dealing with negative emotions is a big part of my work. How do I thrive in the face of such an ordeal? I have come to understand that emotions need to be shared. When I just listen and really let people express how they feel without judgment, it’s often enough to get them to move forward. I often get the privilege to transform problems in solutions.
When negative emotions are shared, they are divided. The reverse is also true, positive emotions are multiplied when shared. It’s a simple equation that opens up human relationships.
We are creatures of empathy and we connect through shared emotions. Empathy fosters collaboration and this is the foundation that weaves the fabric of our society. Without empathy, we would be apes. The difference between us and the chimpanzee is our ability to live and work together in large organized groups.
When I look around me, outside of my work, I feel is a gradual rise in negative emotions. We are reacting to all the struggles and compromises created by the pandemic.
It’s completely normal if you sometimes feel angry, frustrated, anxious, fearful, sad, resentful, disillusioned, dismayed and regretful. When you feel those emotions, do not ignore them and don’t put a fake smile on your face. Ignored emotions just keep coming back, they gain weight and they drag you down.
Accept how you feel and share those feelings with someone. Nobody is perfect. We are all struggling at some point in our lives. Let’s have a bit of self-compassion and self-love, just enough to go talk to someone, be vulnerable and ask for help once in a while.
If someone comes to you to share a negative feeling, just listen. Don’t try to fix them or cheer them up. Just listen.
Thank you.
Original post Facebook, May 2020
Martin Pham Dinh 