Summer vacation and family trips are a special time in childhood and parenthood.
In the last 4 days, I have spent every minute with my son either doing something, driving somewhere or sharing a single room.
In these moments, I observed him from a distance and appreciated how he has grown.
Whereas last year, he did his own thing, lived in his own little private world, was centred on his needs like a kid; nowadays, he observes me, he is curious about how I interact with other people.
At some point, watching him watching me, I had an epiphany…
We don’t grow children by telling them what to do and how to behave, we show them how to grow into the person we are by modelling behaviour we want them to imitate.
If I want my son to grow into a reliable adult worthy of respect, trust and love, I must show him how to become that adult through my actions.
My son must see me be strong, be kind, be loving, be generous, be patient, be hesitant, be afraid, be courageous.
He must hear me say often “I love you” and “Thank you” but this is not enough… He must also hear me say “No” and set boundaries. He must hear me say “Yes” and accept compromises. He must hear me say “I am sorry” and acknowledge my mistakes.
This is how I believe we can grow our children well.
Thank you.
Martin Pham Dinh 