Six years I sat on my writings on this difficult subject.
October 18, 2015 is forever scarred in my life.
I do not know how time heals this kind of trauma but I wanted to respect the family’s need to process this imaginable grief in the privacy of their home.
With their blessing, I now share these thoughts and emotions that still resonate in my heart.
Let Romain never leave our memory, so let him survive in our hearts.
Thank you Sebastien and Annie.
The loss of a child…
A family close to ours lost their 2 year old child yesterday.
A little boy died suddenly in a horrible accident…
When i learned this, i did not know how to react.
A sadness beyond what i can imagine has struck this family.
What do we do in the face of such pain?
I honestly did not know.
I have faced a lot of things in my career
But such sadness… so close to me? Never.
When i got home from work, we talked to our 6 year old son.
We explained what had happened. He already knew.
Turns out news travels fast in kids too.
A friend of ours bought flowers, candlelights and a card. We met after dinner. We all signed the card.
We wondered if we should just go and leave the gifts at their doorstep or knock.
We decided we should all go together and knock.
So we walked together.
Two families walking towards another one.
Children carrying flowers and candles.
It was a beautiful sight and i felt a strong emotion rise in me.
We arrived at their doorstep.
It was an awkward moment.
Knocking at someone’s door is a simple act.
Knocking at someone’s door who just lost their 2 year old child is difficult.
I was afraid. Is it ok? What to do? What to say? How will our children react?
All it takes is a leap of faith.
I felt tears burn through my heart.
I rang the doorbell…
We were there, two families with candlelights and flowers
We were there to simply say: “we are here”
In that moment, i understood: only love can heal such sadness.
I opened my arms and i gave them a big hug. We cried together.
I told them i’d be there for them should they need anything.
I can’t feel their pain. I can’t heal them.
But i can send them love.
And in these moments, love is just a presence.
I can just stand there in the face of their pain.
I can just show them that i’m not afraid of their pain, i can take it, i can stand it, i can be there.
Only love can heal such sadness…
October 22, 2015
A great joy, a light through these dark times, it was the symbol we all wanted. A smile on the faces of the grieving parents, this is the great success of the event, the flight of Romain’s lanterns.
We are sharing for many reasons.
First to never forget.
Second to help those who will inevitably have to deal with such unimaginable loss.
Share if this you find it relevant.
Thank you.
Martin Pham Dinh 