As years flow by on the river of time…

I’m revisiting a moment, a sweet memory from my life with my son…his entry into kindergarten in 2014.

This afternoon, I met Liam at the end of his last school day and we walked home together.  We have a long walk home, it gives us time to talk and reflect.  There is a hidden symbolism behind this walk. I walked you to school when you started kindergarten. I am walking with you when you leave elementary school, seven years later.

You have grown up well boy, not only in your body but also in your heart. I am proud of you.

I will always be there to walk you at the intersections of life.

I love you.

—- This post was published on Facebook on September 9, 2014 —-

On the other side of the fence….

I watch him from afar, a little man we created together with his bag on his back, almost as big as he is. He is sitting, on the other side of the fence, under the play structure in the schoolyard and he is watching these children, strangers, playing around him. There is no one he knows, no one to play with.

This is the first time in our lives that a fence separates us and I am not allowed to hug him, to have fun with him.

He turns around, looks at me, I can see he’s holding back from crying. He is a big boy now.
I feel a deep emotion rising in me. I want to go to him, to pick him up, to tell him that I love him. I am torn… I also have to let him grow up, let him face the world, encourage him to make friends and develop his independence.

I stand there and watch him. He doesn’t move. I tell myself that I need to get away, that it’s good for us that I take a little distance and I force myself to go… At the next corner, I can’t resist, I turn around and I see him, he is looking for me, he is obviously sad and alone…

Shit, I need a progressive school start too…

I go back to him and offer to wait with him until his teacher arrives. We sit together in a small corner of the school yard, on the ground and I hug him. I would like this moment of intimacy to never end, I would like him to remain my little boy forever.

We see his teacher, I have to let him go. I kiss him on the cheek and wish him a good day.
Go.. go my little one, go make friends, go to school, go grow up and learn about life.

I love you.