Capture and hijack: a tug-of-war inside my head

My inner life is a wild landscape, a mental ecosystem where a calm sea of stillness can abruptly transform into a turbulent ocean of emotions.

During capture, my attention is caught and moved by something, a thought, a memory, an emotion, a sound, a sight, a smell, something happening in the world, and my mind notices, and reacts : “Oh! look at that.”

Within hijack, my focus is swept away by powerful emotions, leaving me unable to consciously steer my thoughts or actions. It’s akin to a mental tsunami that sweeps me without consent or delicacy. These are the moments when I react impulsively, making choices that lack intention and can lead to destructives consequences in my life.

I might not be alone undergoing these challenges, it’s reassuring.

I have discovered that my personal definition of freedom is not a life filled with chocolate chip cookies, nor is it the avoidance of shit sandwiches. My sense of freedom is a calm openness that comes with the ability to see emotion rise, and welcome them without being caught by them.

I aspire to achieve this freedom through ongoing efforts during daily meditations. If I succeed, it will be the fruit of emotional balance, cultivated with care and kindness.

Thank you.